My Birth Journey - Elsie's Birth

Today was Elsie's 7th Birthday. I can't quite believe how quickly the time has flown. Every year since she's been old enough to listen I have told her about her birth, and today I was inspired to finally get in down on paper (well, typed up on here at least!). So this is Elsie's birth story - The most amazing day of my life - I hope you enjoy it!

It was Saturday 4th February 2012 – I was 4 days over my estimated due date. After having a very emotional morning, crying and bouncing on my birth ball, my partner decided, for my sanity, that we needed to get out of the house. We got in the car and started out to Padstow. Within 10 minutes of being in the car I said that I didn’t feel right being that far away from home, something was just telling me I need to be near home, so we headed to a local shopping village.

Arriving there at about 2pm I felt like I was going to have a bad tummy, so headed to the public toilets and found myself camping out there for quite a while. At this point my brain clicked in to gear – stupidly emotional, wanting to say close to home, and now a bad tummy! I think I know what this means, and right on cue as soon as my brain registered what was happening I experienced by first surge. It was very light and only lasted about 30 seconds, but it was very exciting and I knew that things had started. We continued to walk around the shopping village and then headed to Morrisons to shop for supplies (we were planning a home birth so wanted to make sure we had everything we needed).

We arrived home at about 5pm, surges were coming every 10 ish minutes and lasting about 1 minute. My partner got to setting up the pool and I settled down on my birth ball with my hypnobirthing tracks on. At one point I had tried to lie down on the sofa but the surges were 100 times worse whilst lying down and actually really quite easy and manageable when I was up and moving around or on my ball. Around 6 pm we called the midwife to let her know that things were speeding up a bit. She said that I sounded very relaxed and in control and that although labour had begun that it might be a while yet and to call back later. We continued to get the birthing pool inflated and around 7.30pm I felt like I was ready to get in the pool. This is where plans changed a little bit!

So at the time we lived in a top floor apartment and the moment that we plugged the hose in to the tap and tried to run the water through to the pool it soon became very apparent that there was no way the water pressure was enough to let that happen and fill the pool. Water started spraying out all over the kitchen! This sent me in to a bit of panic as my heart was absolutely set on a water birth but there just seemed no feasible way to get the water in the pool. We called the midwife and explained our situation. This was about 8pm. She said she would call forward to Penrice Birth Centre and see if they had a pool free so I could have the water birth I so desperately wanted, but that obviously this would be kissing goodbye to the home birth side of the plan.

At this point my surges were coming every 4 ish minutes so I knew I needed to make a decision quite soon. After a brief chat we decided to head to Penrice Birth Centre. My dad had come over to drive us there – I positioned myself over the back seat in the car with my head on the parcel shelf. It was the longest drive ever as my dad thought 20 miles an hour was a safe speed considering the precious cargo!! I listened to my affirmations at this point to keep me calm and my partner was in the back with me reminding me to breathe and relax my shoulders.

We arrived a Penrice Birth Centre at 9.40pm. Annoyingly my dad had parked at the wrong entrance and we had to walk all the way through the main building to the birth centre – my surges coming every 2 minutes at this point so the 100 yard walk took about 10 minutes with all the stops and starts. The wonderful midwives were expecting me and had run the pool ready for me to get straight in. The midwife asked if she could examine me to check I was in active labour before getting in the pool. I consented to this – mainly as I was so keen to get in that warm water – and as I went to get up on the bed my membranes released. And to my joy I had the big ‘Hollywood’ gush of water that I was hoping for! Don’t ask me why I wanted that, I had just visualised it and thought it was pretty awesome if it was to happen!

At 9.50pm I was examined and was 5cm open and assisted to get straight in the pool. The water was absolute bliss. At this point time kind of stood still and flew by all at once. I know that my partner had given the midwives our birth plan and also a copy of the hypnobirthing book and our resources pack. They sat over the other side of the room, quietly observing and reading all the bits and pieces. I vaguely remember having Elsie’s heartbeat monitored intermittently, but the midwife was so stealth like and respectful that I can’t actually say when this was happening. I remember her using our hypnobirthing words and thinking to myself how supportive she was and how she must have really taken on board our birth plan. This was such a reassurance to me. I had my Rainbow Relaxation and Birth Affirmations playing out loud in the room, my partner was supporting me at the side on the pool, I had found a position that felt comfortable (on my knees with legs open, leaning over the side of the birth pool) and I remember feeling like I could handle every single surge as long as I had a cool flannel on my forehead. The midwives kept rotating them as soon as they got warm – this was honestly a total god send!

Most of the time in the pool was a bit of a blur, I was so relaxed and as my surges got more intense, I definitely went in to myself and just switched off and focused on my breathing. I remember the point that my surges changed, and they felt different. At that point I looked up out of my ‘zone’ and said, ‘I think I need some gas and air or something as I’m not sure I can do this’. This had literally come out of nowhere and even though I knew what that meant (I had learnt it in Hypnobirthing), I really needed the support of my partner and my midwife at that point to talk me back down. The midwife smiled at me and said ‘I’m just off to get my gloves on’ as she knew that my baby would soon be here! It was such a reassuring smile!

It wasn’t long after this that I felt my natural expulsive reflex kicked in and I had an overwhelming urge that my baby was coming down. From the depths of my belly a sound very similar to a moo came out of me (I like to think it was a roar – but my partner assured me it was most definitely a moo!!) and I remember going upright on my knees and leaning back and with a few more downward surges Elsie came out like a bullet out of a gun! I looked down in the water and there she was – floating like a little start fish and I remember saying ‘she’s out, she’s out’ and the midwife saying, ‘well reach in and grab her then!’ and we all laughed. Elsie was born at 12.50am on Sunday 5th February. 11 hours after I realised I was in labour!

I stayed with Elsie skin to skin in the pool until the cord had stopped pulsating. I think this was about 15 minutes. I was supported out of the pool and on to the bed in the same room where I then put Elsie to my breast to feed. My placenta made its own way out after some walking around and toilet sitting. I was absolutely fascinated by my placenta and my midwife showed me it and talked me though it.

One of the midwives had emptied the pool, cleaned it and filled it again with warm water so I could soak in it for a while after Elsie had fed. We were given the obligatory ‘tea and toast’ and allowed to just spend some time just the 3 of us. (The toast you are given after birth is literally the best toast you will ever eat in your life!)

After a fair amount of time had passed, I think a few hours, Elsie was weighed (6lb 14oz) and dressed, and I was examined. No need for any stitches, perineum intact, and only a light graze at the top. We had been religious with the perineal massage and I believe that and the water had worked wonders, especially as she flew out so quickly! We then moved across the corridor to the ward and were able to spend some more time as a 3 and try and get some sleep – this didn’t happen as we were just too excited and couldn’t take our eyes off our daughter!

The midwives at Penrice were honestly and truthfully so totally wonderful. It wasn’t the homebirth we were planning – it was better! I would not have changed anything for the world. We had the best birth experience, I felt supported, listen to, and respected throughout. Hypnobirthing wasn’t an overly common thing at that point, and some of my requests might have been seen as quite different at the time, however not once did anyone try to coerce me, try to change my mind or be dictatorial. The support and care I received was of the highest standard and I am so grateful. Penrice Birth Centre and the wonderful midwives there hold a very dear place in my heart.

If my Birth Journey has inspired you to find out more about the wonders of Hypnobirthing please get in touch and we can chat :) Email me on info@cornwallhypno.co.uk or leave me a comment below.

The Secret to Your Future History!

Happy New Year to you! In this months blog I'd like to introduce you to a concept created and developed by Dr Alan Jones. I recently attended a workshop of Alan's and purchased a copy of this new book 'The Secret to Your Future History - Dream Realisation Technique'. I've just finished reading it and want to share my learning with you, and maybe inspire you to read or find out more. I think it's a really constructive time to learn news things, as January is well known for being the month of change, of new beginnings and resolutions.

Now I would imagine that most of you have heard of the ground breaking book 'The Secret? It talks about changing your mindset, focusing on what you want and sending that thought out in to the universe. You get back what you send out. - believe and the universe will provide - repeat an affirmation until the change happens. (this is a very brief outline!). Now I've been a lover of this book for many years, however after I read Alan's book I realised that actually there is a lot more to it that just making something happen through positive thinking alone. When I really thought about it, all of my positive and lasting change, all of my successes and my goals have been achieved through me making it happen; through ACTION - now yes, I've changed my mindset, I've used affirmations, I've created positive thoughts, but ultimately it's my actions that have supported the thoughts that have created my successes.

Now don't get my wrong, I totally believe in the power of the mind. I live by it, teach it, use it in my therapies and workshops etc, and completely know the power of a positive mindset, however the concept of putting a thought out there and just expecting it to happen without any effort on your part doesn't really sit well with me. Where is the sense of achievement? Where does the responsibility lie when you're expecting the universe to make something happen for you? And what if it doesn't happen? Does that mean the universe hates you, or that you're not worthy? Does that mean that you aren't being positive enough, thinking hard enough? So in this respect you could say that the concept is floored.

"A thought without action is just a thought."

What about being proactive as well as sending it out to the universe - surely that's a much better thing to do?

Want to shift a few pounds and tone up - I can guarantee you that actively 'doing' as well as sending out positive thoughts is going to do more for you then just letting the universe change it for you.

Want to rid yourself of anxiety or panic attacks - yes, a positive mindset is essential, daily affirmations will support this change; however rather than sitting back and letting the universe change it for you, you could actively seek out ways to make this happen too - join a support group, share your feelings, find a therapist or counsellor, keep a feelings journal to work out your triggers, practice mindfulness, improve your self care, exercise regularly, eat a healthy balanced diet, get more fresh air, practise yoga or breathing techniques. These positive actions will motivate you and give you a real sense of responsibility and achievement.

So this brings me on to Alan's concept. It does encompasses traits of The Secret - a positive mindset and goal setting - he talks about MAPping your future:

M - Mindset

A - Actions

P - Perspective

which shows that mindset is still a huge part of the 'solution' but it is coupled with action and perspective too.

He also outlines 7 key ideas that make up the secret to your future history.

• Happiness - Happiness is not something you get, but rather something you do

• Stories - "We are but the stories we tell ourselves" Self talk, mindset

• Motivation - create goals, be active, SMARTER targets

• Decisions - being in line with you want, being responsible for your own decisions

• Shifting - seeing, hearing, thinking, feeling both emotionally and kinaesthetically

• Change - understand that you have the power to effect changes and that change is inevitable

• Spirituality - cause and effect. Being connected to all around you, rather than a religious belief or concept

He states that all of these concepts are linked and create a cycle. To get the full understanding of this concept I urge you to read the book or visit his website,, however I will outline the link between the 7 key ideas here:

Doing Happiness (remember happiness is something you do rather than something you get) results in the need to question the Stories we tell ourselves, which in turn impacts on our Motivations. To be creatively motivated we need to make Decisions and Shift towards our future history. This means we need to embrace Change. Recognising the connections between cause and effect; every other person and the view of the world defines out Spirituality, which influences our ideas about Happiness.

So, to summarise, when you are wanting to make change, achieve a goal, create a future history - have a clear picture of what you want, find a clear future history to work towards., change your mindset, think positively and take action, and then embrace the journey knowing you are responsible for your achievements!

To find out more about Dr Alan Jones visit his website www.aweneksolutions.com or find him on social media.

Don't forget I offer a range of solution focused therapies, as well as relaxation and mindfulness workshops which maybe of interest to you on your journey to achieving your goals or making positive change.. Please email info@cornwallhypnobirthing.co.uk for more information.

Breastfeeding Myths!

So this week has been slightly quieter for me which has given me the time to dedicate to finishing my ABM Breastfeeding Support Worker training course. I have been plodding my way through this course since January 2018 and learnt so much along the way. I have now submitted all units and am waiting for it to be marked and moderated. Exciting times.

Whilst researching and reading the various links, articles and websites for the training I discovered this super useful article by Dr Jack Newman and thought I would share it with you all here. Throughout my personal experience as a breastfeeding mother, my work support couples and through hearing stories from friends and family, I am well aware that there are so many myths surrounding breastfeeding; and unfortunately in our society we are very quick to blame most issues that mothers and babies may have on breastfeeding (see number 20!). This article is here to set the record straight. Please share it with all your pregnant friends/new mums/breastfeeding mums and anyone else who you think needs to know this valuable information.

1. Many women do not produce enough milk. Not true! The vast majority of women produce more than enough milk. Indeed, an overabundance of milk is common. Most babies that gain too slowly, or lose weight, do so not because the mother does not have enough milk, but because the baby does not get the milk that the mother has. The usual reason that the baby does not get the milk that is available is that he is poorly latched onto the breast. This is why it is so important that the mother be shown, on the first day, how to latch a baby on properly, by someone who knows what they are doing.

2. It is normal for breastfeeding to hurt. Not true! Though some tenderness during the first few days is relatively common, this should be a temporary situation which lasts only a few days and should never be so bad that the mother dreads nursing. Any pain that is more than mild is abnormal and is almost always due to the baby latching on poorly. Any nipple pain that is not getting better by day 3 or 4 or lasts beyond 5 or 6 days should not be ignored. A new onset of pain when things have been going well for a while may be due to a yeast infection of the nipples. Limiting feeding time does not prevent soreness.

3. There is no (not enough) milk during the first 3 or 4 days after birth. Not true! It often seems like that because the baby is not latched on properly and therefore is unable to get the milk. Once the mother’s milk is abundant, a baby can latch on poorly and still may get plenty of milk. However, during the first few days, the baby who is latched on poorly cannot get milk. This accounts for “but he’s been on the breast for 2 hours and is still hungry when I take him off”. By not latching on well, the baby is unable to get the mother’s first milk, called colostrum. Anyone who suggests you pump your milk to know how much colostrum there is, does not understand breastfeeding, and should be politely ignored.

4. A baby should be on the breast 20 (10, 15, 7.6) minutes on each side. Not true! However, a distinction needs to be made between “being on the breast” and “breastfeeding”. If a baby is actually drinking for most of 15-20 minutes on the first side, he may not want to take the second side at all. If he drinks only a minute on the first side, and then nibbles or sleeps, and does the same on the other, no amount of time will be enough. The baby will breastfeed better and longer if he is latched on properly. He can also be helped to breastfeed longer if the mother compresses the breast to keep the flow of milk going, once he no longer swallows on his own. Thus it is obvious that the rule of thumb that “the baby gets 90% of the milk in the breast in the first 10 minutes” is equally hopelessly wrong.

5. A breastfeeding baby needs extra water in hot weather. Not true! Breastmilk contains all the water a baby needs.

6. A mother who smokes is better not to breastfeed. Not true! A mother who cannot stop smoking should breastfeed. Breastfeeding has been shown to decrease the negative effects of cigarette smoke on the baby’s lungs, for example. Breastfeeding confers great health benefits on both mother and baby. It would be better if the mother not smoke, but if she cannot stop or cut down, then it is better she smoke and breastfeed than smoke and formula feed.

7. A mother should wash her nipples each time before feeding the baby. Not true! Formula feeding requires careful attention to cleanliness because formula not only does not protect the baby against infection, but also is actually a good breeding ground for bacteria and can also be easily contaminated. On the other hand, breastmilk protects the baby against infection. Washing nipples before each feeding makes breastfeeding unnecessarily complicated and washes away protective oils from the nipple.

8. Pumping is a good way of knowing how much milk the mother has. Not true! How much milk can be pumped depends on many factors, including the mother’s stress level. The baby who nurses well can get much more milk than his mother can pump. Pumping only tells you have much you can pump.

9. A breastfeeding mother has to be obsessive about what she eats. Not true! A breastfeeding mother should try to eat a balanced diet, but neither needs to eat any special foods nor avoid certain foods. A breastfeeding mother does not need to drink milk in order to make milk. A breastfeeding mother does not need to avoid spicy foods, garlic, cabbage or alcohol. A breastfeeding mother should eat a normal healthful diet. Although there are situations when something the mother eats may affect the baby, this is unusual. Most commonly, “colic”, “gassiness” and crying can be improved by changing breastfeeding techniques, rather than changing the mother’s diet.

10. It is easier to bottle feed than to breastfeed. Not true! Or, this should not be true. However, breastfeeding is made difficult because women often do not receive the help they should to get started properly. A poor start can indeed make breastfeeding difficult. But a poor start can also be overcome. Breastfeeding is often more difficult at first, due to a poor start, but usually becomes easier later.

11. Breastfeeding ties the mother down. Not true! But it depends how you look at it. A baby can be nursed anywhere, anytime, and thus breastfeeding is liberating for the mother. No need to drag around bottles or formula. No need to worry about where to warm up the milk. No need to worry about sterility. No need to worry about how your baby is, because he is with you.

12. A breastfeeding mother has to eat more in order to make enough milk. Not true! Women on even very low calorie diets usually make enough milk, at least until the mother’s calorie intake becomes critically low for a prolonged period of time. Generally, the baby will get what he needs. Some women worry that if they eat poorly for a few days this also will affect their milk. There is no need for concern. Such variations will not affect milk supply or quality. It is commonly said that women need to eat 500 extra calories a day in order to breastfeed. This is not true. Some women do eat more when they breastfeed, but others do not, and some even eat less, without any harm done to the mother or baby or the milk supply. The mother should eat a balanced diet dictated by her appetite. Rules about eating just make breastfeeding unnecessarily complicated.

13. Breastfeeding twins is too difficult to manage. Not true! Breastfeeding twins is easier than bottle feeding twins, if breastfeeding is going well. This is why it is so important that a special effort should be made to get breastfeeding started right when the mother has had twins . Some women have breastfed triplets exclusively. This obviously takes a lot of work and time, but twins and triplets take a lot of work and time no matter how the infants are fed.

14. If the mother has an infection she should stop breastfeeding. Not true! With very, very few exceptions, the baby will be protected by the mother’s continuing to breastfeed. By the time the mother has fever (or cough, vomiting, diarrhoea, rash, etc) she has already given the baby the infection, since she has been infectious for several days before she even knew she was sick. The baby’s best protection against getting the infection is for the mother to continue breastfeeding. If the baby does get sick, he will be less sick if the mother continues breastfeeding. Besides, maybe it was the baby who gave the infection to the mother, but the baby did not show signs of illness because he was breastfeeding. Also, breast infections, including breast abscess, though painful, are not reasons to stop breastfeeding. Indeed, the infection is likely to settle more quickly if the mother continues breastfeeding on the affected side.

15. If the baby has diarrhoea or vomiting, the mother should stop breastfeeding. Not true! The best medicine for a baby’s gut infection is breastfeeding. Stop other foods for a short time, but continue breastfeeding. Breastmilk is the only fluid your baby requires when he has diarrhoea and/or vomiting, except under exceptional circumstances. The push to use “oral rehydrating solutions” is mainly a push by the formula (and oral rehydrating solutions) manufacturers to make even more money. The baby is comforted by the breastfeeding, and the mother is comforted by the baby’s breastfeeding.

16. If the mother is taking medicine she should not breastfeed. Not true! There are very very few medicines that a mother cannot take safely while breastfeeding. A very small amount of most medicines appears in the milk, but usually in such small quantities that there is no concern. If a medicine is truly of concern, there are usually equally effective, alternative medicines which are safe. The loss of benefit of breastfeeding for both the mother and the baby must be taken into account when weighing if breastfeeding should be continued.

17. Breastfeeding in public is not decent. Not true! It is the humiliation and harassment of mothers who are breastfeeding their babies that is not decent. Women who are trying to do the best for their babies should not be forced by other people’s hang-ups or lack of understanding to stay home or feed their babies in public washrooms. Those who are offended need only avert their eyes. Children will not be damaged psychologically by seeing a woman breastfeeding. On the contrary, they might learn something important, beautiful and fascinating. They might even learn that breasts are not only for selling beer. Other women who have left their babies at home to be bottle fed when they went out might be encouraged to bring the baby with them the next time.

18. Breastfeeding a child until 3 or 4 years of age is abnormal and bad for the child, causing an over-dependent relationship between mother and child. Not true! Breastfeeding for 2-4 years was the rule in most cultures since the beginning of human time on this planet. Only in the last 100 years or so has breastfeeding been seen as something to be limited. Children breastfeed into the third year are not overly dependent. On the contrary, they tend to be very secure and thus more independent. They themselves will make the step to stop breastfeeding (with gentle encouragement from the mother), and thus will be secure in their accomplishment.

19. A breastfeeding mother has to drink lots of fluids. Not true! The mother should drink according to her thirst. Some mothers feel they are thirsty all the time, but many others do not drink more than usual. The mother’s body knows if she needs more fluids, and tells her by making her feel thirsty. Do not believe that you have to drink at least a certain number of glasses a day. Rules about drinking just make breastfeeding unnecessarily complicated.

20.Breastfeeding is blamed for everything. True! Family, health professionals, neighbours, friends and taxi drivers will blame breastfeeding if the mother is tired, nervous, weepy, sick, has pain in her knees, has difficulty sleeping, is always sleepy, feels dizzy, is anaemic, has a relapse of her arthritis (migraines, or any chronic problem) complains of hair loss, change of vision, ringing in the ears or itchy skin. Breastfeeding will be blamed as the cause of marriage problems and the other children acting up. Breastfeeding is to blame when the mortgage rates go up and the economy is faltering. And whenever there is something that does not fit the “picture book” life, the mother will be advised by everyone that it will be better if she stops breastfeeding.

So there you have it! Have you learnt anything new from reading about these common myths? Feel free to leave me a comment below or send me and email.

Original course of the article : http://www.friendsofbreastfeeding.ie/wp/info-packs/breastfeeding-basics-0-12-months/breastfeeding-myths-by-dr-jack-newman-md-ibclc/